Jack and Jill Adopt

A Mommy Daddy Blog

February 18, 2007

Humiliation

I think I've mentioned that there are 4 pregnant women where I work. Well last Friday was J.'s last day before maternity leave so C (also pregnant) decided she wanted a picture of all the pregnant and "pseudo pregnant" (her words) women. I was pleased they wanted to include me, and I was happy to do it. It turned out that two of the pregnant women were out that day, so it ended up being only J, C, and me. Now for the humiliation. C insisted that I take a teddy bear and stick it up my shirt as a false belly. This just felt so wrong to me. I was embarrassed and felt like a little girl playing dress-up. I'm pretty shy and I don't like to make waves, so I just sucked it up and did it. I'm sure it made a funny picture, but I didn't like it. Also, can you imagine how agonizing it would have been if I had struggled with infertility or miscarriages? I think it was extremely insensitive of C. Lots of people just don't understand adoption.

posted by Jill @ 9:29 AM  

6 Comments:

  • At 2/18/2007 12:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wow. I am infertile. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I'm going to reference it in a post later today on my blog: www.coming2terms.com
    The insensitivity that many fertile women (and men) demonstrate never ceases to amaze me. I wish you all the best in your adoption pursuits. You clearly will bring to your parenting a heightened sense of compassion. You have my respect and admiration.

     

  • At 2/18/2007 3:04 PM, Blogger Teendoc said…

    Girl, let me tell you. While I totally get your desire not to make waves, this was a situation where a tsunami was more than appropriate.

    I have to tell you that the one advantage of turning 40 is that while episodes like you describe would have probably transpired in my 20s or early 30s, at 40, no freaking way! I would have started with my infamous "First of all!..." and everyone would have been running for cover.

    So sorry that they put you in that situation, but, my dear, if faced with something like that again, just say with a sweet smile on your face, "I don't fucking think so!"

     

  • At 2/18/2007 5:51 PM, Blogger JW said…

    Ugh, as someone struggling for 6 years to conceive my first, that makes my skin crawl. The freaking nerve of those girls!!! They don't have a bloody clue! I'm sorry you felt humiliated by them, they acted like a bunch of bullying schoolgirls.

     

  • At 2/20/2007 12:52 PM, Blogger GLouise said…

    I am so sorry to hear about this! It makes my skin crawl.

    I wish you didn't have to work with such offensive people.

     

  • At 2/20/2007 5:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This woman has to be one of the most insensitive people on the face of this earth! I am so sorry that you had to suffer because of her ignorance and insensitivity!! I have had girlfriends who have struggled for years to conceive, surrounded by pregnant women, baby stories and baby showers for co-workers and friends. We, as women , need to more compassionate , caring and supportive of one another in this world. We are supposed to be the nurturers. What this woman did to you was far from nurturing. Thanks for sharing this in your blog. If it raises the awareness of even one other person, your courage will make a difference for someone else in the future.

     

  • At 2/23/2007 3:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am beyond words -- that request was inappropriate at best, and I'm so sorry you had to experience that.

     

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