Previo

Well, we got our previo. Our agency told us that 90% of the cases get a previo, so it's not that surprising. Still, I didn't think it would take 12 WEEKS before we got ours! We were told the typical stay in PGN is 6-12 weeks. So of course on week 12 we get the email that we have a previo. No other information can be gleaned. They don't know what it's for, and they can't speculate on how long the process will take after we get back into PGN. Considering that our lawyer farted around for 3 months to get us into PGN in the first place, I'm not too optimistic. I'm wondering if Kit will be home for his first birthday...

Let's talk about something cheerful

I've done enough whinging about missing my baby. Yeah, we all get it. I wish he was here and he's not. So now it's time to talk about something else.

I've applied for a new job! I just sent in the application, so it's still really early in the application. I am a school librarian in a small school that has Kindergarten through 12th grade. There are things I love about my job, but there are more things that I hate. The biggest thing is that Jack and I just aren't comfortable in this community. It is very conservative and not very tolerant. We are not willing to raise Kit here. If we have to stay a few more years it won't be the end of the world, but we need to be out before Kit starts school. There are kids at my school that use racial slurs against other kids who have dark hair. It's just not right for Kit (or anyone, I don't know where all this hate and fear comes from).

The job I'm applying for is in another state with a very different political climate. It is also only 20 minutes away from where both sets of grandparents live. This school is elementary only which is a plus and a minus. It would allow me to focus more, and be more of a specialist, but I would miss the teenagers. Seriously! I love them! Another nice thing about the potential job is that I went to school there when I was in elementary school. In fact, my first grade teacher still works there.

So anyway, I'm hoping this works out. I'll keep you all posted (no pun intended).

Blarg

All this stuff about Guatemalan adoption going on now is making me sick to my stomach. See US Immigration to see what I'm talking about. We picked Guatemala in part because of the DNA testing of child and first mom. I figured that was a pretty good safeguard to make sure our adoption was ethical. Also the kids need homes so much! I'm scared for us, but I'm more scared for all the kids in Guatemala who will be left with nothing. Do I think adoption needs to be reformed? Definitely. I think our agency is pretty good. After all, they handled one of Angelin@ J0lie's adoptions (sarcasm). I don't know what to think. This post is really incoherent, but it reflects the way I feel right now. I want my baby home, but I want to be sure he is really mine.

Jack's Mom

I want to write a post about my mother-in-law. She is just a wonderful person and I feel so lucky to be part of her family. Most people seem to have horrible MIL's for some reason, but I got a winner. When I came home today there was a package on our porch. It was the stroller that Jack and I had put on our registry but didn't get at our shower. Thank you! It really made my day to get that when I got home. Both Jack's parents have really helped us out so much during the adoption. The only difficulty is to keep them from giving us too much!

I feel that I have a special connection with my MIL (I'll call her M. to make it easier). When I first met Jack, in High School, I suffered from a chronic illness. M. suffers from a similar illness. When I think of everything that she goes through, it amazes me that she is as strong as she is. Yet she holds her whole family together with such love and care. Jack's extended family is a very close and loving family. We're so lucky to have that. Sure there is some dysfunction there, all families have that, but it's the way they care for each other through it that impresses me.

I know M. is suffering through this wait for Kit just like I am. For as long as I've known her, M. has been looking forward to grandchildren. I know she's going to be so happy when Kit's here.

Positive Thinking

Today I decided to think positively. I said to myself, "I will get a call from my agency today at school, and they will tell me that we are out of PGN without any previos." So I repeated this a bunch of times in my mind. I even decided they would call during lunch just the way they did last time they called me at school (to tell me we were in PGN 10 weeks ago). So what happened? Well, at the end of lunch, the phone rang in the faculty room. It was for me! It was my husband! My heart was beating faster. I was sure that this was the call I was waiting for...

But no, Jack just called to tell me that his friend Jack (same name, very confusing, I know) was coming over later. It was nice of him to give me the warning, but I was disappointed.

The moral of the story? I should just go back to my normal pessimistic way of thinking. As Nero Wolfe says, optimists are forever getting disappointed, but pessimists are always pleasantly surprised.

Diapers

I have to take pleasure in the little things. Jack and I decided to try cloth diapers and yesterday my order arrived from an online store. At first I wanted the All-In-Ones which are just like disposable diapers, only they're cloth. Then when I realized it would cost several hundred dollars to outfit our baby (although it would still be cheaper than disposable in the long run) I decided to look at the more economical options. We decided on using Indian prefold cotton with diaper covers. You fold up the squares of cotton, wrap them around the baby's bum and put the diaper cover over it all. There are no pins required if you get the right kind of diaper cover. So anyway, I had fun playing with the diapers, putting them away in the nursery, and imagining using them with Kit.

Isn't it kind of pathetic when you're reduced to daydreaming about changing diapers?

PGN is a pain

I wish adoption weren't so complicated. I hate paperwork. We got a message from our agency that there may be a mistake on one of our forms because people in our state are idiots. We looked at our form and couldn't figure out if the mistake is there or not. It's all very complicated. Apparently the person who signs off on our background checks has a special seal and the form doesn't need to be notarized, but usually it is anyway, and then the person that does the certification certifies the signature but not the notarization. Confused? Imagine how we feel. So it appears to me that our notarization was properly certified, but I can't be sure so I have to call our agency and find out if we have to do our form over.

We're already redoing some other forms because some of our notaries expired and we want to have replacement forms ready to go just in case we get kicked out of PGN. Part of me is optimistic and thinks we'll just get through without having to do anything else, but most of me thinks we'll have a dozen previos and we won't be able to get Kit until he's 11 years old. I really want to get him before April break because then I'll have an extra paid week with him, but that's not very likely unless we get out of PGN like now! Which will probably not happen.

Another Snow Day

We have another snowstorm here in the northeast. I got another day off from school so I decided to come into the public library to do a little blogging. I love snow. I was so depressed earlier this winter because we had nothing. Many people talked about how wonderful the winter was with no snow. Are they crazy? Why do they live up here if they don't like snow? I've never understood that. The whole point of this area is that it is cold and snowy in the winter. You can go skating, skiing, snowboarding, snowmobiling, sledding or just have snowball fights. For the record, I don't have a snowmobile, nor do I have any desire to get one, and I can't afford to go snowboarding anymore. I do love to skate and go cross-country skiing. I think there are some people who don't like any winter sports, and that may be why they hate it up here. Again, I have to ask, why don't you move somewhere warm? I myself would never choose to live in the south.

Our agency sent us an update and warned that cases are taking longer now. I guess an adoption coordinator was arrested on visa fraud charges. The US Embassy and PGN are looking at cases more carefully now. This translates to more time. The estimated time from referral to bringing a child home has extended from 6-8 to 8-9 months. Even the cases in progress are probably going to be slowed down. We have been in PGN about 8 weeks. I guess we have to expect that we won't be out before the end of April. It's so frustrating for us. I just want my baby home with me.

What am I doing during the wait? I read, I knit, and I play video games. Yes, I am a complete dork. I read fantasy and lots of kids books (I'm a librarian in a school remember), I knit baby things (gifts and stuff for Kit a sweater right now) and I'm playing Pikmin right now. It's a game for the GameCube. Jack wants to buy a Nintendo Wii, but I'm against it. It's a bit expensive (but not as expensive as the Playstation 3!) and I think when Kit comes home we won't have any time for video games anymore. We'll be lucky if we have time to sleep. So I'm trying to enjoy my lazy time now, but it's so hard because what I really want, is my boy.